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1.
Sundays 04:08
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A Molotov cocktail Made from the communion wine Back of the Sunday school class Dreamt about it a hundred times I knew that these spaces Were places I'd never return Later years, in my darkest thoughts Something still burns Oil and holy water do not mix So it's best to save my prayers Was God ever looking out for me Does he ever truly care I don't think so There's a television missionary Says I need to keep a promise My life is a gift bestowed And not a state of independence I change the channel With a wave of guilt and shame Mental scars and sore knees The lessons learned on Sundays Oil and holy water do not mix So it's best to save my prayers God was never looking out for me I don't think he ever truly cared I don't think so I've got questions You think you have the answers But this is all bigger than you and me We are insignificant Deep in the infinite This is all bigger than you and me This is bigger than Sundays… This is bigger than Sundays…
2.
13 O'Clock Creep 04:24
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I don't want the sun to rise I didn't have enough to dream last night Hands of time around my throat Sugar in the bloodstream Simulacrum of myself Ready for the masquerade Sell a little bit of my soul All this time, what a waste Thirteen o'clock hits In my face I see I've squandered this precious life Age starts to creep I can't hold back the years In my face I see The ravages of time Age starts to creep The burning candle of youth Blown out by a winter wind Now all that remains Is the mess I got myself in And while I made new scars All my dreams had died (...) I never got to say goodbye I used to think I had All the time in the world
3.
Your Favorite Thing 03:33
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Wear it like a gold chain Tied up like a noose The past will leave a shadow No matter what you do Caught you looking forward What are you trying to play Sorry to hurt your dreams But the song won't stay the same Iron, Gold, Thorns, Flowers Dreaming of the finest hour Is this entertainment? What if it's not your favorite thing? Get your hands dirty Can't keep the business clean Contents under pressure Oncoming tragedy Come what may, it's a paradigm shift Come what may, it's a critical hit You're not ahead of the game The song won't stay the same Iron, Gold, Thorns, Flowers Dreaming of the finest hour Is this entertainment? What if it's not your favorite thing? And everybody wants A piece of the action Iron, Gold, Thorns, Flowers Dreaming of the finest hour Is this entertainment? What if it's not your favorite thing?
4.
Summertime Alchemy 03:11
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What if this is the end What if I wrote the last page I could only go so far And I've run out the days What happens to you What does tomorrow hold There's a world waiting for you That I'll never know Please, please, please Let this life just be a dream Then I could go back to sleep Back to you and me Do I just fade away A whisper on the breeze Shut my eyes one last time And just cease to be And I've left you behind Though it wasn't by choice Memories will begin to fade And you'll forget my voice Please, please, please Let this life just be a dream Then I could go back to sleep Back to you and me The beauty of the world The summertime glow The magic in the stars The comforts of home I hope that they cradle you The way I long to To reverse this twist of fate There's nothing I wouldn't do Please, please, please Let this life just be a dream Then I could go back to sleep Back to you and me
5.
Phantomnation 03:45
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No one's picking up the phone I think they might have changed lines I wonder if it's my fault I'm not the easiest at times No gentle conversations All my small talk is despair I can't change, trust me I tried And I can't make you start to care Why don't I ever Get invited to your parties? There was a time You and I got along That's me up on the stage No eye contact, head down on the page Someone died in that song Not something you wanted me to play These great expectations A pearl necklace of delusions At the end of the night I go home with new disillusions Why don't I ever Get invited to your parties? There was a time You and I got along I want to go out tonight But no one there will talk to me And I'd rather spend my night Drinking my weight in apathy I knew how to lie to myself Paint a picture so close to the truth Then I could stop hurting myself Trying to mean something to you Why don't I ever Get invited to your parties? There was a time You and I got along
6.
Generally Regarded As Safe 05:14
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I have a reoccurring dream Where I commit the perfect crime I know where to hide the body I know where to hide the knife The world moves on And I endure the savages of guilt I wake up in a cold sweat And the memory of the kill I wear a plastic smile Hide the dark inside Then I fake it for you Then I fake it for you I wear a plastic smile All of my memories are fake Cause I have to protect myself So I wrote a perfect story And the character of someone else I block out nights of screams I rewrite what made my scars But it lingers like a ghost Cause you can't change who you are I wear a plastic smile Hide the dark inside Then I fake it for you Then I fake it for you I wear a plastic smile It never gets brighter
7.
Abigail 04:03
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I see Abigail got married I thought we were better friends But I don't even know his name And only found out in pictures Have I been a part of her life Or am I a name on a wall She passes by every once in a while Between dates I never heard about I no longer take pictures Just for the memories I see Abigail's band got big I never thought that much of them I always said I'd go to shows But never carried intention Is it that my eyes turn green At the sight of her succeeding Making strides in life On a path where I'm receding I no longer take pictures Just for the memories I hear Abigail passed away It was cancer deep in her lungs I didn't even know she sick I only remember liking her pictures Was I even truly a friend Or was I just a living memory That pacified something for me And made me feel less alone I no longer take pictures Just for the memories I was alone I was always alone
8.
Monday (Post-Metropolitan Cannibals) 03:40
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A rising tide of mercury Sweeps it all into the sea New maps for new wars Submarine luxury cars I can't say that I'm surprised We're the ones who chose this life Racing straight towards Doomsday When city after city falls Up will come the cannibals On just another Monday Talking heads strain and strife Which culture should survive Somewhere in the disorder We're still working nine to five. I can't say that I'm surprised We're the ones who chose this life Racing straight towards Doomsday When city after city falls Up will come the cannibals On just another Monday Buildings crumble to the ocean One O Five in the winter Bodies float to the penthouse As the world begins to splinte We all saw the warning signs Back at minutes to midnight A perfect crime of inaction This ending feels justified I can't say that I'm surprised We're the ones who chose this life Racing straight towards Doomsday When city after city falls Up will come the cannibals On just another Monday
9.
Tourniquets 04:31
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If the disease doesn't kill you Then surely the medicine will You're just a fragile machine Built dependent on the pills And the system shuts down As soon as they take them away The suffering can be stopped If you have enough to pay I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm doing so well for myself (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health Hospital stay, hospital stay Prescription of an early grave Don't care where it hurts A needle cures the pain Up goes the price No one really cares for your life Business is booming If you're under the knife I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm doing so well for myself (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health Listen to my heart As you tear my life apart It's racing way too fast It's beating to collapse Listen to my heart Pull the tourniquet tight How much do you get When I die? I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health (what doesn't kill you) I'm doing so well for myself (what doesn't kill you) I'm the picture of health
10.
Chicago 05:46
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I didn't want to tell you this way I just didn't feel like I had much of a choice You would've made me change my mind I know you I know your words I know how they affect me I couldn't stand you looking at me I didn't mean that Sorry I'm leaving I'm going back home to Chicago I'm gonna stay with my parents for a while I know it's not the best situation Dad's not too happy But mom and dad understand the situation I guess you don't But I think deep down you do We haven't been on the same page in a long time That fight over the weekend was probably the final straw Besides, you still have feelings for Mickie I know you do I've seen the box of letters in your closet Who still writes letters? I guess you still write letters to someone you dated three years ago I know we should have sat down and talked about this I know, I know, I know But communication had never been our strong suit We were fun and passion and We weren't going to last We argued over the little things, the big things, you didn't want to have kids and I do. I really do I want to read them the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe like my mom did for me when I was little Fuck this is so hard Why is this so hard I have to go I have to do this for me and my life and I'm sorry that I'm doing it like this Maybe I'll call again when I'm in Chicago Make sure that you're okay You probably won't want to hear from me I understand But trust me, this is for the best

credits

released May 31, 2023

E. Niveous Rayside (vocals, guitar, bass, drum programming)

Eric Novak (bass)
Thank you Eric. Thank you always for your wit and your amazing bass work.

Jay Ackley (vocals, chordulation station, drums)
Thank you Jay. Thank you for your uplifting attitude, amazing drum work, letting me add the Chordulation Station into this album and lending your voice to "Abigail".

Elana Low (vocals, hurdy gurdy)
Thank you Elana. Thank you for lending your voice to "Tourniquets", teaching me that the hurdy gurdy is kinda wonderful, and constantly making me smile.

Mark Maldonado (drums)
Thank you Mark. Thank you for your drumming and your courage to go hang out with strangers and make tunes.

Mama Pills (vocals, piano, bass, ukulele)
Thank you Mama Pills. Thank you for so much. You gave up so much of your time. Gave your voice to so much. Learned to play bass. Added in uke. So much piano arranging. All that plus countless Creed references and endless musical theater. I could not have done this weekend without you.

Brookes McKenzie (vocals, omnichord, drums)
And of course, the other person I couldn't have done this without, Brookes. Thank you for not only bringing your voice and your omni but your belief in this project. In our relationship, you're usually the big dreamer and I'm the one who does the technical stuff. Here I was with a dream and you came in strong. You made shirts! You were there for me time and time again.

And to those in the audience rooting this on, thank you too. It means a lot to have such good friends.

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Niveous Staten Island, New York

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